For those who have trouble achieving orgasm with a partner, sexual fantasies are a useful tool. Many can learn to achieve orgasm through fantasizing during masturbation. The stimulation becomes psychological as well as physical. In practicing using this tool, the key is to block out distractions both external (noise, interruptions, or even light) and internal (judgments, expectations). Remember that you are in charge of your own pleasure. The best part is that you are in control of what your fantasies are. No one is stopping you from enjoying the pleasures available to you when you open your mind and

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Almost every human being has sexual fantasies at one point or another during his or her life. In essence, sexual fantasies allow us to explore our imaginations and create arousing scenarios that differ from what we experience in reality. For some, fantasies include sexual role-playing or acting out scenes while we and our partners play different roles. Others fantasize about introducing a third person into the sexual encounter. There are thousands of fantasies, limited only by the individual's desires. Sharing these fantasies, in fact, can be a way to bring you and your mate closer together, even if they remain as fantasies.

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The human mind is capable of a wide range of visions. The beauty of sexual fantasy is that the possibilities are limitless. However, some fantasies may seem alien to our partners. A woman may fantasize about being raped – not because she really wishes to have this violent act performed on her. In society, women are often required to keep their sex drives secret for fear of being seen in a negative light. The rape fantasy gives an excuse for her to become sexual. But this is just a fantasy. A man may fantasize about making love to his wife's sister or best friend. In reality this can be an extension of his love for his wife,by the symbol of embracing the other women in her life. Don't be threatened by your lover's fantasies. Remember that most of the time they are not intended to be acted out.

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Perhaps one of the most common fantasies lovers have is one they don't even realize they have: change. Be spontaneous and surprise your lover by doing or wearing something you don't normally. If you typically meet at a particular restaurant on a Friday night, suggest a walk in the park instead. (And have a surprise bottle of champagne waiting at home.) Change your look now and again as well. Go from casual to classy or downright sexy one night. Just the effort you put into pleasing your partner will go a long way.

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How is a fetish different from a fantasy? While a lot of fantasies involve various fetishes, there are two definitions of the word fetish that work together to define the word. The first definition describes a fetish as an "extreme or irrational devotion to some activity" and the second definition calls fetish "a charm superstitiously believed to embody magical powers, like voodoo." Essentially, experiencing a fetish most often means combining an object (shoes, leather, rubber or a body part like feet, toes, hair, etc.) with some erotic act related to that object. Basically, if some object entrances you in an erotic way, and you are powerfully driven satisfy your desires, it's most likely a fetish you're experiencing.

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Many couples enjoy having shaved genitals. Many say that the lack of pubic hair in that region heightens sensations and makes sex more exciting. Some couples even use erotic shaving as a way to be more intimate. Letting your lover shave you – or watch you shave – can be extremely arousing. If you shave each other, remember to use clean, warm water and a new razor. Don't use the same razor on each other; use a fresh one for each. Take your time and go slowly! Remember that the act of shaving can be just as rewarding as the results.

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Perhaps the most popular fantasy couples share is role-playing. If you and/or your partner have a sexy scenario in mind, try acting it out as part of your next sexual encounter. Many role-playing fantasies involve some sort of a power play, or a dominant/submissive scene. These can take shape as teacher and student, warden and inmate, boss and employee, etc. Others involve "chance" meetings as "stranger". (These fantasies can be fun to live out since couples can actually begin the fantasy in public!) As long as both partners are willing to engage in the fantasy, acting it out can be extremely arousing for both people. Take the fantasy further by dressing up in costumes or even switching roles.

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The fabrics of certain clothing can spice up your sex life as well. Many people are turned on by the feel and smell of leather and/or latex clothing. Both materials are shiny, cling to your every curve, and feel great on your skin as well as your lover's. Leather is more expensive, but those who get a charge out of it have a lot of options for incorporating it into their lives. Leather couches, chairs, shoes, restraints, and even crops can be purchased to add to sex encounter. Latex is a very shiny plastic material that is much less expensive than leather. If you wear a latex garment, always use lots of talcum powder on you body before dressing, as oils can break down the quality of the latex. Be sure to wash the garments in water after removing them as well.

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Sadomasochism (or "S") crosses the line of both fantasy and fetish. Late 19th century psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing identified Sadists and Masochists related "sexual anomalies." He wrote that sadism is "the experience of sexual pleasurable sensations (including orgasm) produced by acts of cruelty, bodily punishment inflicted on one's own person or when witnessed by others, be they animals or human beings. It may also consist of an innate desire to humiliate, hurt, wound or even destroy others in order thereby to create sexual pleasure in oneself." A masochist was described as someone who is "controlled by the idea of being completely and unconditionally subject to the will of a person of the opposite sex; of being treated by this person as by a master, humiliated and abused. This idea is coloured by lustful feeling..." Both terms are named after literary figures. Sadism comes from French writer Donatien Alphonse François de Sade (a.k.a., the Marquis de Sade), and Masochism was named after the late 19th century novelist Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose writings depicted this kind of gender control.

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A lot of couples like to swing...but not necessarily in the way you might think. The fantasy of being weightless as you make love has resulted in the development of perhaps one of the most fun sex toys ever created: The sex swing. With the use of a sex swing, you and your partner can enjoy complete freedom of movement in your lovemaking. Most swings are easily installed in a door frame or ceiling and are easily moveable. That way, you can enjoy your favorite positions without stress or strain. (You may even come up with a few new positions as well.)

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Many of us want to know how to have better sex. Luckily there are plenty of products and services on the market to help us gain that knowledge. For some, watching an educational sex video is helpful. For others, doing research by reading up on new techniques -- and then putting them in practice at home -- is enough. Many couples learn together by joining seminars and events that are geared toward enriching their sex life together. There is no shortage of assistance available to those who want to learn how to be better connected to their mates sexually. There is no one right way, so be open to trying new things and most importantly, have fun!

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Contrary to popular belief, the ancient book of The Kama Sutra -- or, Aphorisms on Love -- was not intended as a sex manual. These sacred writings form India about sexual union were only a portion of the book's deeper message of spiritual wholeness. Still, Kama Sutra sex positions are illustrated and explained in many modern sex books and videos as a means to develop our sexual acumen. Many of the [tantra positions] are not so different from what we already practice. For example a position which is called The Splitting of the Bamboo is very similar to an alternate version of the Missionary position, in that the woman places one of her legs on her lover's shoulder, and stretches the other out, then switches the position of her legs. Experimenting with different lovemaking positions such as the ones illustrated in the Kama Sutra can help add excitement to ones lovemaking.

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Adult sex videos are a helpful method for spicing up your sex life. Whether or not you have a partner, watching adult films can certainly assist you in improving your skills as a lover, but many of the how-to videos and DVDs are extremely educational from a scientific standpoint. Many feature commentary by medical doctors and licensed sex therapists, who offer invaluable knowledge about how the male and female body functions during sex. In addition, you are often able to view real couples putting lessons they learned into practice, which serves to demonstrate that we are all capable of having satisfying sex lives.

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The adult movie industry has made great strides since the old days of "stag films." With developments in film and video technologies, these films are looking and sounding better than ever. The desires of the adult movie-viewing public have been heard as well, and now many films are so well-written and acted that they have attained the status of "erotic cinema." There are even annual awards shows -- much like the Academy Awards -- held to honor the best in adult film industry.

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There has been an ongoing debate over what constitutes erotic literature versus pornography. The deciding factor in English-speaking courts has often come down to the notion of perceived literary merit. (If it has it, it's literature; if not, it's porn.) Historically, the conflict came about in response to works aimed at men, which often depicted explicit sexual acts. Many of these also contained erotic visual imagery (illustrations of sex acts) which were easier to prosecute than arguing the meanings behind the written word. In the US, the First Amendment protects written fiction, but many other countries have made erotic writing illegal, regardless of whether it is literary or pornographic.

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With the availability and affordability of home video recording equipment, more and more couples today have begun making their own sex videos. Shooting your own videos with you and your partner as the stars is a great way to keep the thrill in your sex life. Some long-distance lovers even film lovemaking sessions so the distance won't be so hard to take. In addition to recording sex on tape, many long-distance couples use web cameras to have sexual encounters over the Internet. This is a bit riskier, since the Internet is so heavily used and security can be compromised. Although homemade sex videos are usually meant to be seen only by those making them, there is also a huge market for what is commonly called "amateur porn."

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The Internet has brought with it a new era of erotic film and literature. This boom in both industries is due in part to the fact that the more discreet consumer does not have to face a store clerk or postal worker. Not only can you find sales of quality erotic books and films online, but there are entire sites devoted to both categories. Erotic magazines (or, e-zines) abound, with a varying array of quality short stories and longer works. There are thousands of sites geared specifically toward erotic video clips and feature films as well.

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If you're at all good with words, or even just good at relaying a tale, you might consider writing an erotic story for your partner. It's an excellent tool for seduction and a fun exercise for you. One of the best things about erotic literature is that there are as many genres of erotic writing as there are in non-erotic writing. From science fiction to mystery, the options are endless. Don't know what to write about? Try recounting your favorite sexual experience with your partner. Add as many details as you can so that when your lover reads the piece, s/he can relive it. Here's a tip: If you get aroused while writing your story, it's almost a guarantee your partner will when s/he reads it.

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The very first kiss on film was between a Victorian couples seen in the Edison kinetoscope "The May Irwin Kiss" in 1896. This groundbreaking film is also known as "The Kiss," or "The Irwin-Rice Kiss". This 20-second short film was merely a close-up of a kiss. It was considered shocking and pornographic to early moviegoers. Even the Roman Catholic Church called for censorship. Heating things up even more, less than a year after the Lumieres conducted the first public screening of a film in December 1895, actress Louise Willy was rumored to have stripped for the French film, "Le Bain" ("The Bath").

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One of the most fun bonding experiences for couples is watching and erotic film together. There are a few things to keep in mind, however, before you get started. First, make sure you both are interested in seeing the film. There's nothing fun in leaving your partner behind in an attempt to have a good time. Choose the film together. Make sure there is something about it that you both will enjoy. After all, you both will be sharing the experience. Lastly, have fun! Watching the film together may or may not result in the two of you having sex, so don’t expect anything. Just have a good time. It's most important that the two of you have done something together as a couple.

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Sometimes a woman wants to take charge during lovemaking. When a woman sits or lies on top of her partner, this is called the "Female Superior" position. And it can be superior for everyone involved! In Female Superior positions, the woman is able to better manipulate penetration to facilitate orgasm. This is a perfect position to stimulate the G-Spot, in fact. Lean your torso forward and arch your back, keeping yourself close to the base of his penis. Try rocking back and forth (not bouncing up and down). Squeeze your P.C. muscles once you've got a nice rhythm going. Another option is to lean back and place your hands on his thighs. This time, move up and down along his penis. At this angle, you'll get great stimulation of the G-Spot. And your partner gets a great angle to watch your pleasure.

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The most common sex position is the man-on-top "Missionary" position. Many may think this is a boring position (and it can be!) but it provides many positives as well. First, there is a better chance for intimacy in this position. You and your partner are able to look each other in the eyes as you make love. Also, women often find this position optimal for clitoral stimulation, either by hand or by close connection with her partner's pelvic bone as he penetrates. You may be surprised to know that women have a lot of control in this position. Elevating the hips makes for deeper penetration, and swiveling them in rhythm with her partner's thrusting creates a more intimate and pleasurable experience.

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A variation on the Missionary position is the Blossoming Flower. In this position, the woman lies on her back and lifts her legs up. With her legs spread and open in this manner, she takes on the appearance of a flower in bloom. She can grasp under her knees for better leverage, as well. This is an excellent position for deep penetration, easy access to the clitoris, and face-to-face intimacy between partners. Long periods in this position may create kinks in the woman's legs, but since the woman's hands are free, she can always use them to massage her legs while penetration occurs.

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One of the sex positions that was touted as "revolutionary" a few years ago is the Butterfly. It's a bit tricky since proper alignment is necessary. The location needs to be a place where the woman's pelvis is about a foot lower than the man's. This could be a tall bed, desk, countertop, even a large exercise ball. The woman lies back while the man stands in front. (If the surface is very low, he may be able to kneel instead.) Now, the woman lifts her legs and rests her feet on her partner's shoulders. She tilts her pelvis up so that he back becomes straight and forms a straight line, angling up toward the man, and both crotches meet. The man can place his hands just under his partner's hips so he can hold her at the perfect angle while he thrusts. In this position, the pelvic tilt is ideal for G-Spot stimulation and deep penetration. An excellent tip is not to rush this one. Use a lot of lubrication and go slowly. With so many sensations going on, the orgasm that follows will be momentous!

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In the Pressed Position, the man is very much in control. The woman lies on her back, with her legs together. She lifts her feet and presses them to the man's chest. This position offers a good deal of friction. The man can grasp his partner's hips to aid in thrusting. He needs to pay attention to her comfort level, however, as this position can be uncomfortable at certain angles or if continued for a long period of time. A variation of this position is the Half-pressed. Here, the woman leaves one leg free, letting it rest to the side or placing it on her partner's shoulder. Better access to the clitoris is experienced, and it's also a nice way to change up the position without stopping rhythm.

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This is a great woman-on-top sex position if you and your partner want to turn things around, literally! In Pair of Tongs, the man lies back and the woman faces opposite him. There's plenty of variation in this position. The woman can lie back and lift her hips slightly, giving her partner room to thrust from underneath. Or, she can sit up and control penetration herself, not to mention clitoral stimulation. It's a great opportunity to introduce sex toys like vibrators into the act as well. The woman can use them on herself as well as her partner. One word of warning for women: Keep in mind a man's comfort and pay attention to how far forward you bend!

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No matter what you call this rear-entry position, it's a popular one for G-Spot stimulation. The man stands or kneels behind and vaginally penetrates the woman who is typically on all fours. Men like this position, as it offers a new and exciting view of their partner. He is also able to control penetration by grasping his partner's hips. Women have perfect access not only to their clitoris, but to her partner's testicles as well. Many men love to be stroked or even squeezed in this area as they thrust. Women with back problems should be careful not to arch their back too much. Men can assist by not pulling upward on their partners hips. As it is with many positions, it's best to go slowly when entering from this angle. Also be sure to use plenty of lubrication.

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A lovely and intimate sex position is On the Side. In this position, you face each other while lying on your sides. Think of Missionary position turned to a 90-degree angle. The woman can lift her top leg over her partner's hips, allowing him to enter her easily. Variations are endless here. Either or both of you can lift up on your elbows for leverage. You can even angle back down 45 degrees, for more friction. This position doesn't allow for much clitoral stimulation, but that is easily fixed: The man stays lying on his side, while the woman lies perpendicular to him, draping her knees over his hips (or, if she spreads her legs, her knees actually rest on his waist/ribs and thigh, respectively). This is a fantastic position for clitoral stimulation and mutual control of penetration. And it's a great for when neither of you really feels like "being on top"!

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We all know The Spoon to be a nice way to cuddle, but it makes an excellent sexual position as well. Both man and woman lie on their sides, the woman facing away from the man. The man enters from behind. If the woman keeps her legs closed tightly, there is better friction. She can even bend her torso forward and anchor herself so that she can offer a little resistance during the thrusting, which increases penetration. However, she can certainly lift her top leg for easier access to the clitoris. Her partner can even hold her leg up so that it won’t get tired and/or as an anchor while he thrusts. Not surprisingly, this is a popular morning sex position, as couples awaken and get snuggly.

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In this sex position, the woman lies on her belly, and the man lies on top. Some women may find it more comfortable to have a pillow underneath them. Legs are kept straight, and the man enters from behind. For men with longer penises whose partners have trouble accommodating them, this is a great position, as the woman can squeeze her buttock and P.C. muscles, giving the illusion of having a longer vaginal canal. The man can lift himself up slightly and kiss or blow on his partner's back for added stimulation. Both partners hands are free for interlacing fingers or light touching, which makes this a very intimate position even though you are not face-to-face.

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An easy technique that enhances intimate connection is the coital alignment technique. The man slides two to four inches forward from the typical missionary position. In stead of resting on his elbows, his arms should cup his partner's shoulders so his body lies flat against hers. Both partners spines should be straight, and the base of his penis should naturally rub the woman's clitoris. The woman's legs should be straight out and touching his while she pushes her pelvis upward about two inches. At this point, the man can push down gently to give a little resistance. With this technique, there is no in-and-out movement; it's an up-and-down rocking. To bring him in deeper, the woman can spread her inner thighs even wider and wrap her ankles gently around his calves. With your bodies moving so closely together and in unison, it's a subtle vet very pleasurable way to make love intimately.

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Here's a technique you can do with a partner or alone. It's an ancient sexual practice designed to delay pleasure and thereby heighten your eventual release. It's very simple: Bring yourself – or you and your partner should bring each other – just to the brink of orgasm, but not over the threshold. Stop all movement and stimulation. Take a deep breath in and squeeze your genital muscles. Feel the energy rise through the center of your body. As you exhale, feel the energy drop back down. Do this three times. On the fourth, go for the reward: Full release! In fact, practicing this technique alone is recommended if you typically orgasm quickly or if you'd just like to prolong the lovemaking experience with your partner.

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Sexual technique is not always about doing super tricks in bed. Much of lovemaking occurs before the act of intercourse even begins. In a way, knowing how to be a good lover means knowing how to touch. Sensual massage is a wonderful way to connect to your partner, and to learn what feels good to him/her. It is also a very bonding act. Three basic types of massage can be practiced. There's a general soothing massage, where you simply use oils or lotion and gently rub your lover's body head to toe. In a body to body massage, you use your own body to assist in the massage, sliding up and down his/he back, using hair, nails or even playful bites. Some massage sessions may progress to masturbating your partner as part of the rub-down. Pay attention to your partner's reactions as you massage or establish ahead of time what type of massage you will give/receive so that both of you achieve the maximum pleasure.

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Don't underestimate the power of words as a first-rate sexual technique. Erotic talk can be done during sex or when you and your partner are not together and want to keep the flames burning (having phone sex, for example). However, many people are at a loss about what to say during sex. Sometimes it helps not to think of it as talking "dirty" to your partner. Simply tell telling him/her what you would like to do with him/her is arousing enough. Alternatively, you can share a fantasy or an erotic dream. Keep in mind that your partner may have difficulty opening up verbally. Respect that. Always pay attention to your lover's comfort level.

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The pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle, is located at the bottom of the pelvis and connects the anus and genitals to our legs and the bones we use for sitting. It controls the opening and closing of the urethra, seminal canal, vagina, and anus. How does this information translate into a sex technique? By strengthening this muscle, men can stay erect longer by stimulating blood flow to the penis. Women benefit by being able to hold the penis more tightly in the vagina. Here's a technique to strengthen the muscles: Squeeze or contract the muscle as quickly as you can ten times in a row. Inhale and hold the last contraction for ten seconds then release as you exhale. You can do this anywhere. At work, watching TV, in the car... Women can practice this rhythmic contracting and squeezing while her partner penetrates her for added stimulation of the penis and heightened pleasure for herself.

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Once you're in the penetration stage of lovemaking, there is a technique men can use to thrust even deeper than they may have realized they could. Some positions, such as the Blossoming Flower -- or any other position where the woman's legs are spread and her hips are even slightly elevated -- are best for this technique. On the in-thrust, just when you think you cannot go any deeper, pause for a second, then press just a little further right before you pull back, as though you've just swum a lap and are pushing off the wall of the pool. Start slowly at first, to build a rhythm, then you can begin to move faster if you wish. Your partner should begin to anticipate the final deep push and may even instinctively assist by relaxing her vaginal muscles slightly (to let you in further) or lifting her hips a little higher. For both partners, that extra little push goes a long way toward more intense pleasure.

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One of the best sexual techniques anyone can learn is how to seduce your lover. It's not as complex or time-consuming as it may seem. Sometimes, just a simple compliment such as, "You're so beautiful/handsome” will do wonders for your lover's self esteem and make him/her more willing and excited to be close to you intimately. Alternately, you can write a love letter and leave it in a place you know s/he will find it when you are not around. It's almost guaranteed your lover will be thinking of you all day and will want to get back to you for some lovemaking. If you're out together, why not flirt the way you did when you first met? Flirting is a wonderful way to keep love fresh and alive. No matter how you choose to seduce, do something new every once in a while just to let your partner know you care.

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Sex toys make a great addition to your sex life, especially when the two of you need a change of pace. If you both decide you're amenable to it, introduce something simple into your lovemaking like a vibrator. Men can use a vibrator to help arouse a woman and stimulate her natural lubrication. Perhaps one of the most important sexual techniques a man can learn is how to properly lubricate his partner before he enters her. Women can use a vibrator on her lover by gently moving it across his testicles and perineum. Be sure to move slowly, here, as this is a sensitive area, and some men are more sensitive than others. In both cases, let your lover tell you what feel right.

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Basically speaking, the erogenous zones are the areas of the body where we feel heightened sensations of physical pleasure. There are a lot of them for most women and men. Learn them. Each person is different, so don't expect that your lover will like the same things as you do or a previous lover did. Massage is a wonderful way to find these zones, but general touching during lovemaking is the only sure way to discover what your partner does (and doesn't) respond to. Areas to investigate are nipples, earlobes, neck, scrotum, bellies, feet, inner arm, the small of the back, and even armpits. Since we have nerve endings all over our bodies, almost any body part is capable of delivering pleasure signals to our brains. You'll never know until you try.

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Everyone knows how important foreplay is to lovemaking. A great arousal technique, "Putting on the Sock", comes from the Kama Sutra. "Putting on the Sock" may sound a little odd, but it is actually highly erotic. The woman lies on her back, while the man sits between her legs and puts his penis at the entrance of her vagina. Slowly, he caresses her vagina with his fingers. The anticipation of penetration is enough to get both of you very aroused, but this is just the beginning. Next, the man slowly replaces his fingers with his penis, using it (instead of his fingers) in the stroking motion. The continued stroking furthers arousal and should create more than enough natural lubrication. Once the woman is sufficiently turned-on, the man can end the technique by entering his partner.

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While the clitoris is the sexual hub of the universe for many women, it usually requires a bit of preparation to get aroused for digital or oral manipulation.

Teasing and gentle petting is a great way to start stimulating the clitoris. You may wish to start out gently kissing her inner thighs, and continue your explorations from there.

Licking and nibbling the other surfaces of the pussy is adored by many women. Go slowly and think fun. Since it's hard to have a verbal conversation when you are eating pussy, you can refer to her body language, whimpers and moans, etc. for feedback.

Direct clitoral stimulation is divine for some, and others prefer indirect stimulation of the clitoris, while others enjoy having the clitoris sucked. Indirect clitoral stimulation can be achieved by stroking your tongue through the channels on either side of the clitoral hood and applying pressure to the clit through the hood.

Many women love a combination of all of these techniques, and other techniques that are uniquely yours. Afterward, ask for feedback and listen to her responses if you want to be the greatest lover in her world.

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Get comfortable. A blow job is much more fun without a sore neck. Find a position that works best for both of you and the angle of the cock you're dealing with (work with the natural downward angle of your throat). Kneel before your man with him standing if you're in a confined area, or when you want to strike a pose that is really hot. Other positions: seat your partner and crouch between his legs (slide a pillow under your knees if you're not on a soft surface), or lay down and let your partner thrust into your mouth, (harder to control the depth, but good for you lazy types).

If you're using a condom, put it on now. Try a flavored condom if you don't like the taste of latex. A sexy way to set the scene is to use your mouth to put the condom on before you get busy.

Slide your lips gently over your teeth for smooth sailing. Most fellatio recipients like lots of spit, but others prefer a drier job, so check in with your partner. Asking quick yes or no questions like "want it dryer?" or "more spit?" can be helpful and hot. Despite your amazing oral sex technique, you aren't a mind-reader, so watch your partner for body language cues.

EXPERIMENT: You can do more wonderful stuff with your mouth than just suck (and remember--the harder you suck doesn't necessarily mean the better it feels). Mix it up by licking the sensitive underside of the shaft, the nerve-ending-loaded head of the penis, and the testicles. Softly blow on the moistened areas. The combination of sensations will feel incredible.

HANDS-ON: Give your blow job a hand. Grip the cock around the base and slide it up and down, hand-job style, in tandem with your mouth. (Some folks like a tight squeeze, others may not, so check in.) This is great because you can cover a lot of the shaft this way without worrying about taking the whole cock in your mouth. You can concentrate on the super-sensitive head and suck as hard or softly as you and your partner's like.

DEEP THROAT: Deep-throating the act of taking the entire shaft into your mouth and throat can be cool, but you can give a perfectly stellar blow job without doing so. The key to deep throat is to relax your jaw and throat muscles as much as you can. Otherwise, you trigger the gag reflex.

GET INTO IT: Look at your partner and the ecstasy you have caused! Make eye contact. Show your partner how much you love being down there. Moan, make appreciative noises (a well-placed MMMM! can make for some nice vibration, too), let your partner know how turned on you are. Don't neglect the rest of the body, either stroke, tickle, scratch the thighs, stomach, butt, and everywhere else you can reach.

FINISH THE JOB. It is ultimately your choice whether or not to swallow. Your partner's diet, health, habits and frequency of ejaculation will determine the quantity and taste of the ejaculate. The ejaculate of someone who ingests lots of red meat, caffeine, alcohol or cigarettes, may taste more intense than that of a non-smoking vegetarian. The most ejaculate you might encounter is a teaspoonful or so. You have several choices if you aren't crazy about ejaculate, but don't want to hurt anyone's feelings:

1. You can take it in your mouth and discreetly deposit into a nearby towel 2. As your partner approaches climax, withdraw and finish with your hand. 3. You can let your partner come on your body and admire the copious amounts of ejaculate you can use a condom

When you're totally focused on giving head, it can be a lot of fun whether it's for power play (your partner's most precious asset is at your mercy), intimacy, or the pure fun of getting someone off. Remember, you should only be performing fellatio on somebody if you're really into it and are able to focus all of your energy on what you're doing. If you're staring at the clock, waiting for it to end, or worrying about the laundry in the dryer, you won't have a good time and your partner will be able to tell you're not into it, which can be distracting, too!

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OVERCOMING STIGMAS. Many couples find even discussing anal sex to be uncomfortable, never mind their thoughts of how it might feel to actually do. Open communication is imperative to any healthy relationship, however. Remember that stigmas attached to anal sex come from a simple lack of knowledge; we often fear what we don't know. A woman biggest fear may fear that anal intercourse will be painful. Whereas a man might worry that being penetrated will somehow make him less than masculine. Both these worries are normal, but not necessarily the case. Anal sex does not have to be painful if done properly. And men's enjoyment of it not only doesn't emasculate him, it indicates he is a broadly sexual being, capable of enjoying all sorts of pleasure. In truth, the anus is simply an erogenous zone like any other. By learning more about anal sex you and your partner can educate yourselves and broaden your sexual horizons.

ANAL ANATOMY. The entry to the anus is the puckered circle of skin behind the vaginal opening on women, and behind the scrotum on men. The anal canal itself is only about one inch long, and leads to the rectum, which is approximately 8-9 inches long. The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening. You can use a finger or tongue to focus on these. For many, this is more than enough stimulation. However, when an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasurable sensations are experienced. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.

HOW TO START. If you have never investigated your own potential for anal pleasure, a good way to start is on your own, rather than with a partner. You may wish to take a warm bath or shower. Clean the area well. Once you have done this, relax and take a moment to touch the area with a finger or two. Apply different types of pressure to your anus to discover where you feel sensation most. You may wish to insert a finger into your anus a small amount at a time. (Be sure you have proper lubrication to ensure an easy movement; you should never force anything into the anus.) Pay attention to your body's instinctive reaction. Your sphincter may "clamp down" and squeeze your finger. This is normal. Simply stop moving and concentrate on relaxing your sphincter. Practicing on your own will allow you to be more comfortable if you choose to try anal sex with your partner.

SAFE ANAL SEX. There are a few very important rules to follow to keep all anal play safe and healthy. First: be sure both you and your partner have cleaned thoroughly. This includes not only our bodies themselves, but any toys that may be incorporated into the anal sex experience. Always use enough lubrication to ensure easy entry into the anus. A general rule is that larger the object being inserted, the more lube you'll need. Never under any circumstances place your penis or any toy that has been in an anus directly into a mouth, vagina, or anus. You must wash thoroughly to avoid any bacteria from traveling to these areas. A generally safe bet is to use a condom during anal sex. This makes for easier clean-up and, of course, decreases the chance of spreading STDs.

ORAL-ANAL SEX. Popularly called "rimming," oral-anal sex involves orally stimulating the anus with the mouth and/or tongue. This can be highly pleasurable, particularly for those who are only comfortable with outer stimulation of this area. Because the tongue is softer than a finger, your partner may better enjoy the sensations of this kind of stimulation. Be sure, as always, that the area is clean before you begin. Oral-anal sex is most often practiced as part of oral sex. Couples can actually perform this kind of stimulation on each other in the "69" position as well. This is another way to share pleasure as well as a bonding experience between mates.

Source: bettersex.com

It's common to not have a full erection sometimes. This is true for every man. It's especially common in a situation that is new, exciting or stressful, like being with a new partner, for example. Having a fear of erection problems can often result in an erection problem. Take your time with your new partners, and have patience. Being sexually comfortable with a new partner often takes time, try being naked and touching each other for a longer period of time. Payoffs are greatly improved by this method for all parties involved. Slow deep conscious breathing can help send a message to your body and your brain to relax. There are lots of fun things to do while you're waiting for wood.

The way you ask for sex should depend on the circumstances. Whether you use a direct approach or a slower subtle approach, your chances of getting what you ask for are much greater if you are respectful.

When you ask another person for sex, you are asking them to take a risk. If they say no, it doesn’t necessarily indicate that they don't like you. There are a multitude of reasons a person may decide against becoming intimately involved. If you accept their decision respectfully and with kindness, you stand a much better chance of getting lucky with them at a later date. After all, you’ve planted the seed and shown that you can be mature, friendly and graceful in the face of adversity, which many people find very sexy.

When they say yes, it's a great idea to discuss what each of you has in mind. This part takes practice, too. Since there are numerous ways to have sex, being on the same page before you start getting hot and heavy can help to prevent the over-stepping of personal boundaries. Communication is the most important key to becoming the amazing lover you were born to be. And to become a successful communicator takes practice, practice, practice.

The clitoris is often the most sexually sensitive part of a woman's body. The clitoris, like the head of the penis, contains numerous concentrated bundles of nerve endings that respond gratifyingly to touch and other types of stimulation.

Recent research has shown that the sensitive clitoral tissue is not just the flesh that is externally visible. The clitoris actually has 18 anatomical parts. The portion of the clitoris that one can see is just the beginning, while most of the volume of the clitoris lies beneath the surface.

The clitoris and its associated nerve endings extend into a much larger area. In fact, some G-spot stimulation and anal stimulation, for women, may be in part due to of the complexities of nerve endings associated with clitoral tissue. Inside the body, the clitoral shaft separates into two legs that extend for about three inches on both sides of the vaginal opening. The entire clitoris consists of erectile tissue. During sexual arousal this tissue fills with blood and becomes stiff and sensitive.

Most women are unable to achieve orgasm with vaginal stimulation alone. So understanding the clitoris is often the key to orgasm and sexual satisfaction for most women. Each woman likes different types of clitoral stimulation.

Some women like direct stimulation like touching the clitoris, head on with a finger, a palm, tongue, or toy. Some women prefer indirect stimulation like touching the area around the clitoris or touching the clitoris through the clitoral hood. Some women like gentle caressing while others desire more pressure. Some like clitoral stimulation to be slow while others like it fast and firm.

The best way to know how to clitorally please a woman is to ask her to give you feedback. If you listen, follow directions and practice you can learn quite a lot while making your lover wonderfully happy.

The G-spot is the spongy, ridged area on the front wall of the vagina. It is loaded with nerve endings and is an erogenous zone for many women. Not every woman finds stimulation of this area pleasant.

The G-spot can best be located by inserting one or more fingers two to three inches into the vagina and stroking towards the front of the body with a "come hither" motion. Some women require quite a bit of pressure and lubricant can be very helpful for applying pressure without irritating tissue. You may or may not feel anything you can identify as a G- Spot, so rely on your partner's feedback to find your way. Most women are more likely to find G- Spot stimulation pleasurable after they are already aroused. Of those who greatly enjoy this type of stimulation, some women experience an ejaculation of fluid upon orgasm or as part of arousal. This fluid is a product of the paraurethral sponge. It is clear and odorless, and is not urine.

A pregnancy only occurs when sperm meets egg, so a woman cannot become pregnant from kissing, oral sex, mutual masturbation, or sharing a hot tub. It is possible for a woman to become pregnant if the man pulls out of her vagina before he comes, but it is less likely than if he comes inside of her. Also, sperm die quickly when exposed to the air, so they do not live long after being ejaculated unless they are inside a vagina. It is very unlikely for woman to become pregnant from a man ejaculating on her clothing or near her underwater. Most accidental pregnancies happen when someone neglects or forgets to use birth control or uses it incorrectly, or when the man intends to pull out but doesn't make it in time.

Most people learn what they enjoy sexually by exploring what feels good when they touch themselves. As our bodies’ age and change, so may our desires and techniques. Masturbation can be an integral part of knowing ourselves and what we enjoy or don't, regardless of how young or old. Believe it or not, lots of people masturbate in lots of different ways. If your masturbation routine could use some spicing up, be sure to check out our catalog for ideas of activities and sensations you might like to try. Masturbation is fun, it's a stress reliever, a boredom basher, a mood enhancer, it can make you a better lover, and it's good for you!

It's a common misconception, and widely held fear, that large penises rule the world of sexual happiness. In the reality of biology, 90% of erect penises measure 5-7 inches in length, and 1-2 inches in diameter. If you're concerned that your penis is too small, you can rest assured that you are in good company. In a land led by Texans, our media and culture tell us that bigger is better. But that can't be true of all things, especially when it comes down to tools. For a moment, think of your penis as a tool. If it is too small, what is it too small for? Just like different tasks require different tools, many people prefer different penis sizes for different activities. Some people say they like large ones for oral sex, medium ones for vaginal sex, and small ones for anal sex. Still others have preferences in the exact opposite direction and everything in between. Some people like the sensation of fullness that a larger penis can provide but there are many ways to achieve this sensation. For hundreds of ideas, just check out our catalog.

For some people, penis size doesn't matter at all. In surveys about what women and men want in a lover, findings indicate that most people are looking for qualities like interpersonal connection with their partner, their partner's attention and sensitivity to their body, and the ability to respond to their individual needs. So if you want to please your partner, take time to learn about your partner's body and find out what moves them. Take a load of worry off your pecker and just love it, it stands to bring you some of the best pleasure you’ve ever known.

Men have sensitive internal tissue called the prostate gland, which many men enjoy the stimulation of. It can be stimulated most directly through the anus. Even lots of straight men enjoy it. This gland produces a fluid that helps produce semen, and it closes the urine duct to allow for the safe passage of sperm. The prostate can be found a few inches inside the opening of the anus, and can be stimulated through the rectal wall. When the prostate is stimulated, some men orgasm whether or not they have an erection.

Assuming for now that the man is on his back, slip a finger or two into the anus facing upward then curl your fingers (what some people describe as the "come hither" motion). Many men claim they like it stroked or massaged.

When you stimulate the prostate by hand, be sure your nails are trimmed. The anus is a sensitive body cavern that can tear and scrape easily. It's not as durable for penetration as the vagina. You may want to snap a latex glove on your hand, found in many drug stores or sex shops, which will make rear entry a smoother process. There are also finger cots you can purchase that serve the same purpose. In addition, don't forget the lube. The anus doesn't naturally secrete slippery, sexual fluids conducive to easy gliding.

Fingers aren't the only anal pleasure enhancers. The receiving male can try butt plugs, vibrators, dildos or, of course, 100% nature-made penises if that turns you on. Use your imagination on which toys you can buy, adapt, or make. If you use a toy, make sure it has a flange. A flange is a base that prevents the anus from devouring your toy, making it hard to expunge without medical services. The anus is a powerful internal mechanism that can work as a mighty suction device.

Another thing to remember about prostrate stimulation is that not all men like it. Some find it irritating and painful. Some men really enjoy light pressure, others prefer it hard. Some like constant pressure, some like a fast "pulsing" motion. Some men love the sensation, but only like it once they are already very aroused. The best way to ensure your male sex partner enjoys himself is communication. Ask him how it feels.

If you intend to share toys with someone else, or you plan to use the same toy for vaginal and anal insertion, you can put a condom on the toy. By doing this, you will not need to get up to wash the toy thoroughly before using it again; you can just wrap it in a new condom. This should be done before another person uses it, and before you put it in a vagina after it has been in an anus. Anal bacteria can really wreak havoc on a vagina, so vigilantly try to keep it out of there.

Some vibrators are waterproof and can be cleaned like one might wash a dish, with soap and water. The ones that are not waterproof should never be submerged in water, as this can destroy a motor. They can be cleaned with a rag with soap and water.

Silicone toys can also be cleaned with soap and water, put through the wash cycle of a dishwasher on the top rack, or boiled only if they are 100% silicone. Use only water-based lubricants with silicone toys. Silicone lubricants can break down the surfaces of silicone toys.

Rubber toys, including jelly toys, are porous which gives bacteria the perfect little hidey holes they love for setting up house. Wrapping them in a condom for use is an excellent way to keep them clean. There are also anti-bacterial toy cleaning detergents and wipes available through our catalog. It's important to read the directions as many of these products require that they be rinsed after wiping.

Skin simulating rubber compounds such as Futurotic Plus™, Ultra Flesh, Cyberskin®, Soft Skins Plus®, UR3®, Senso®, and Fanta Flesh™, just to name a few, are usually semi-porous materials. Therefore, extra care should be taken to clean and rinse them thoroughly between uses. Pat dry and dust them with corn starch to keep them from being sticky and to restore their original delectable skin-like texture.

All toys should be completely rinsed and dried prior to storage to keep them in the best quality possible.